Have the Hard Conversation Before You Need To

Partnerships usually begin with the fun conversations.

What are we going to build together?

What could this become?

Who can we help?

What does success look like?

Those conversations matter. Shared vision is part of what brings people together in the first place.

But there's another set of questions that I think matters just as much:

What happens when we disagree?

Who gets the final say?

What happens if one person can no longer contribute at the same level?

What if someone's priorities change?

What if a partner wants out?

Those aren't nearly as exciting to talk about.

They're also much harder to figure out for the first time when you're already in the middle of a conflict.

Strong Partnerships Plan for More Than Success

I understand why people avoid these conversations.

When you're excited about a new business partnership, nonprofit collaboration, or community initiative, talking about what could go wrong can feel unnecessarily negative.

We're getting along great. Why would we start talking about conflict?

Because things change.

People get sick. Capacity shifts. Organizations change leadership. Funding disappears. Priorities move in different directions. Someone takes another job. A partner experiences a major life change.

And sometimes two people who genuinely respect each other simply disagree about what should happen next.

Planning for those possibilities isn't expecting the partnership to fail. It's preparing the partnership to survive reality.

What Should You Discuss Before Entering a Partnership?

One of the most useful things you can do early in a partnership is get specific about how you'll work together when things aren't easy.

Talk about roles and responsibilities.

Who owns what?

Talk about decision-making.

Which decisions can one person make independently? Which ones require everyone to agree? What happens when you can't reach agreement?

Talk about capacity.

What is each partner actually committing in terms of time, money, staff, resources, or relationships?

Talk about change.

What happens if someone's circumstances change and they can no longer fulfill their original commitment?

And yes, talk about conflict.

How will you address a disagreement before frustration has had six months to build?

These conversations may feel awkward when everything is going well.

That's exactly when you should have them.

Put the Partnership Agreement in Writing

We've talked about this in CoStarters classes with entrepreneurs, and there's something I hear repeatedly when we bring an attorney into the conversation.

One of the biggest mistakes business partners make is not having a clear partnership agreement in place before they need one.

People assume they'll figure things out because they trust each other.

And trust absolutely matters.

But a written agreement isn't a substitute for trust. It can help protect it.

For a business partnership, that may mean working with an attorney to create the appropriate legal agreements around ownership, responsibilities, decision-making, finances, exits, and other issues specific to the business.

For a nonprofit collaboration or community partnership, the document may look different. But the principle is the same:

Don't wait for a conflict to decide how you'll handle conflict.

Talk About Power, Too

There's another conversation partnerships sometimes avoid: who actually has power?

We can say everyone is an equal partner, but is that really how decisions will be made?

Who controls the funding?

Who employs the staff?

Whose name is attached to the project?

Who has relationships with the decision-makers?

Who carries the greatest risk if something goes wrong?

Those dynamics already exist whether you talk about them or not.

Naming them early makes it much easier to build a decision-making process that everyone understands.

Leaving them unspoken gives them an opportunity to become a problem later.

Hard Conversations Can Protect Good Relationships

The goal of these conversations isn't to eliminate disagreement.

You can't.

The goal is to give the partnership a way to navigate disagreement without destroying the relationship or the work.

That's why I think some of the hardest conversations you can have at the beginning of a partnership are also some of the most valuable.

Ask what happens if someone wants out.

Ask what happens if funding disappears.

Ask what happens if one partner isn't fulfilling their responsibilities.

Ask what happens when you disagree.

Ask who gets to decide.

Then put those answers somewhere everyone can return to when circumstances aren't as easy as they are today.

The strongest partnerships aren't the ones that never experience conflict. They're the ones that decided how they would handle it before they were in the middle of it.

I'm Sarah with Thrive Community Partners. This article is based on an episode of Thrive in Five, where we share practical ideas for moving organizations and communities forward in five minutes or less.